It is time for my rant about children. It just so happened that, again, I was thinking of a topic to blog about, and decided to check the other updated blogs and
it just so happened that the lovely Sara had written an entry on the same topic here.
CHILDREN.
Yes, I did say that. What is wrong with America, this generation? Why is society crumbling away into a mess of crime and disrespect, with no morals and laws to protect us from protecting ourselves?
Children.
I know I am barely out of childhood, so hush. But at least I'm not one of my peers, who smokes, drinks, does drugs, parties all night, sleeps around, and behaves generally idiotic every waking second of her miserable and nearly pointless life. Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration; after all, not every American teen is like that.
But really, now, we've gotten terrible. There are cases such as the examples used in Sara's post, in which (early) teens are discriminated against, beaten into a coma, and forced to resort to killing themselves because the bullying has gotten that terrible.
Why do the figures of authority not try to help these kids? Why is no one bothering to help?
It is starting early on now, in the twos and threes, when children are just learning how to put coherent sentences together. Children are now growing up with a television as a full-time nanny, while their parents are out partying, or ignoring their responsibilities, or just not caring. Actually, I'll take that back. Let's say these parents do care about their children. They care, but they don't bother to actually parent.
Now, I'm not saying every parent in America is bad. There are some truly great ones out there, with children who will grow into amazing people. There are also children who will grow up well in spite of their bad experiences with their parent(s). But this is not quite my point.
All right. So, let's take a trip into this scary land of parenting--which I have never experienced, and hope not to for at least another ten years. So, there you go. You've had a baby. Congratulations, it's a boy. Now what?
Well, now you've got a baby on your hands. A baby who will begin to learn to talk, walk and act according to what he sees--and what he is allowed to get away with. Okay, so little Johnny spilled his mac n cheese on the floor and laughed. Maybe it was an accident. You give him new food. He does it again, and laughs. So now it's a joke. Maybe, just laugh it off. He's only playing.
But then, those two incidents turn into ten, forty, one hundred meals splattered on the floors, the walls, and Fluffy the cat. And why have you not stopped this yet?
Take a step back. Little Johnny is learning to talk. It's kind of cute, but you know, you may not have a lot of time to put into this whole teaching thing. You turn on the TV, like every evening. Some reality show about rich brats in Orange County. Meh, okay. It's usual.
The next morning, little Johnny fails to address you as "Mommy/Daddy". No, this morning, he demands, "Food, bitch!" Oh, my. Maybe that wasn't what you thought it was.. No, it may have been the TV (the one that is still on, by the way), or maybe he was just babbling. Certainly he doesn't know what this word means. You get him some food.
Only, this too turns into a hundred incidents. You shrug it off. Surely he must know it is impolite, and he is only playing because he is only a baby.
The same exact pattern plays for a majority of his baby behaviours. He screams when he's not happy. Appease him, then he will be quiet. Until next time. He runs around the house, and accidentally knocks a lamp over. But then, what does he care? He shrugs his toddler shoulders and runs off again, knowing you'll just clean up his messes. Isn't that what you always do?
This child you've just raised is the child that will run around stores screaming his head off, pushing down other kids at the playground to get a swing, or even hitting people. I mean, really? Raising a child with little to no discipline? Who does that help?
Certainly not yourself. You're the one who has to, again and again, clean up his messes. It may have been mac n cheese that first time, but what about when he's sixteen or seventeen, coming home escorted by police because he was caught tagging the school?
Mostly, you're certainly not helping him. He will grow up thinking he can order people around, or hit, or throw a tantrum with no consequence. He could end up the bully at the school, beating one of his peers because of some stupid fight over texting. Or, even worse, he could end up with a group that gets him into drugs. Or, he could end up fathering a child of his own way too early.
Of course, that was an extreme situation. There are some kids who have grown up with no discipline who have had to learn the hard way that these actions will lead them down the wrong path--something as small as not being able to go out to recess as a child, or maybe something later as an early teen, such as being busted at a party serving alcohol to minors. Again, more extreme cases.
But we hear these sorts of sad things all the time. It's always in the news. More school bullies beating their victims within an inch of death, more property damage by aimless teens, more rape.. and the young adults as well. It's hard to miss on the news, living in the Bay Area, a murder committed by someone barely legal, or a pair of them on the loose, armed. These kinds of people are the ones who make other parents, the good parents, afraid to let their own children go out of the house. These people are infringing on our rights as Americans. I want to be free, as we have all been promised. Don't you? But how far can we take that if we're even afraid to walk to the convenience store three blocks down the street?
Wow, this blog that started as a rant about bad parenting has turned into.. this. It's crazy.
So, what can new parents do to prevent this? The first thing I'd say a parent can do is love his or her child enough to discipline the child. No, it doesn't mean giving them the belt if they throw a tantrum. (Though, that happened a lot in future generations, didn't it? And it seems to have worked!)
Letting little Johnny know that knocking over his food, or screaming, or breaking furniture is not acceptable is absolutely going in the right direction. Children are, obviously, young and impressionable. They will get the message that certain behaviours are not tolerated. And then they will act accordingly.
Also, a great idea is to NOT let trashy TV parent your child. If anything, it can serve as an educational tool, or a bit of entertainment--clean entertainment. And not even that much. Children should not be inside with the TV all day! Or at--ugh, this is so wrong--their own laptops, or using their own cell phones. First, HELLO, children should not be allowed to have cell phones! They are CHILDREN, who are they going to call?
But secondly, the more important bit; why should children be inside watching TV when they can be outside, exploring the world they've been brought into? Er, safely, of course, as I've already ranted about those totally unfair evil people who make cities unsafe. But still. Outside. Surroundings. Friends. Playing, learning, laughing, growing as happy, bubbly children as they should. Is that too much to ask?
When little Johnny understands it isn't good to be the bad kid, little Johnny can start having fun in life. I was just that age a bit over ten years ago! I remember it! Having sleepovers with my friends, catching ladybugs, baking with my mum, "camping" out on the lawn.. I'm certainly glad my parents didn't allow me to be shut into a room with a TV talking at me. I'm glad I got to experience childhood as I should have--erm, just forget the divorce, shh!--heck, I'm even grateful I got those, what, two spankings for bad behaviour? Just getting "the look" from my mum or dad stopped anything bad straight in its tracks. As a little kid, you don't want to disappoint your parents. Or, at least, you shouldn't.
So, what are my main points here?
+Discipline. Let them know bad behaviour is not tolerated.
+TV isn't a nanny.
+Inject them full of love. There has to be a balance for all this spanking/"the look"-ing business.
+Nothing is more important than parenting your child. Not your rocky relationships, not your work, nothing.
+PLEASE don't assume your child knows how to behave well and is choosing to act like a brat. Chances are, little Johnny has been allowed to act this way by YOU.
Erm. Yeah. I should also add in some stuff about helping them become well-rounded little people, not with food but with experiences, and to get involved and all that jazz, but really, I'm getting tired of ranting and I now feel OODLES better getting this all out.
And now I am at a total loss for words. It's turning into NaNoWriMo all over again! Ahh!
Love and other indoor sports (like PARENTING),
Blue Disastrous
