On the agenda for toni--this morning, so I don't forget.
+Du'Pont outing
+Relationship issues
+Screnzy
+Mental issues
+School
+My dad
+Lastly Dick Clark, just because
Are you ready? Here we go.
Du'Pont Outing.
So, on Saturday I went out to Tracy to meet up with my twin to go over some Chemistry. Woo. Fun, right?
Mum and I were late. Pathetically late. Luckily, that got me out of meeting Vince's dad (sorry, Vince), so that was all good. So, as we park, Vince comes over and tries to open the door. Which was locked. MWAHAHAHA.
We all went into Barnes and Noble, because where else is better? Nowhere. Duh. But then we had to have a random lady bring a random table to a random place so I could plug in Mr. Toptop. Because, of course, I'm so cool that I must have my very own outlet in the middle of the stationery section, right by the fiction section, wedding section, and quill/ink bottle display thing.
And then of COURSE Mum has to whip out this stack of pictures and give it to Vince. So he saw me as a Rugrat, which was kind of okay, since I don't think he holds it against me. All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not nearly so pudgey as I was as a childling. Though, I did look much happier back then.
I open up my window for Chemistry, all while listening to A Very Potter Musical with Vince, singing it all and dancing about. Because obviously we're cool like that.
HO SHAT. Sorry, the house settled/cracked and I swear the ceiling was going to cave in.
Anyway, we tried Chemistry. Maybe for half an hour. Neither of us had a clue, so Vince pulled out the Magical Decision Dime and threw it into the Magical Empty Weird Tiny Plastic Cup and spun it about. And the Magical Decision Dime chose my answers for me. What did I get?
Actually, I'm not sure. Let me check.
An 82. A B. Wow, saying that is weird. But still! I got a B for random guesses. Now, if only I could have as much luck all the time.
Eventually we gave up because the lessons were so boring and unclear that even Vince, Mr. I-got-a-130-something-percent-in-Chemistry-back-in-my-day, didn't understand it. It IS online, so it's not like we could really ask an active teacher any questions.
So, we gave up and headed to Hot Topic. Of course, there's nothing new, and we didn't have any pot of gold or anything, so we didn't buy anything. Some videos and pictures inside and out of Hot Topic were taken. We basically played with store merch and moved on to going to Target, where Vince got slightly sweetened tea. BLEH. Tea. Bleh.
..Tea.
BLEH.
Only then, Mum had to go eat. So we dashed (or, strolled, er.. yeah.. strolled..) back to Barnes and Noble so I could grab my bag (with Mr. Toptop). What did we do after that? I'm not sure.
All I know is that we did a BUNCH of random things. Vince made his bed in a freezer. We went to Sanrio to see if they had any more, er, spikes.. HALLO, I want gauges (not that Mum would let me, psh) as well as my labret. Sigh.
So that's where my safety pin went..
Anyway! We also walked aaaall the way to Round Table to discover we weren't really so hungry after all. I mean, I had already filled up on random-purple-flower-garlic--
Okay. That is a lie. But really, Vince told me it was safe. And I trust him. But I had nothing to drink in case after eating it my mouth tasted like.. like.. I dunno, bee fur.
Eventually we did make it BACK to Round Table and we split a Medium (with a capital M) pizza, pepperoni and olives versus plain ol' cheese. MWAHAHA. Again. The pizza wasn't much a good idea, though. Sunday, my tummy made me pay. BUT, I really enjoyed spending time with my brain twin. As well as Diana, but she can't be helped. Nor can Nymphie. Or any of the others.
Relationship Issues.
Ehh, so, as some (or two) of you may know, I'm a bit--well, mostly--mental. Or you can just call me a Cancer and be on with it. My perception is skewed crazily, and I don't forget emotional trauma of any kind (unless asked point-blank, which was unfortunate last autumn) and that can be quite a bugger when it comes to me being in a relationship.
I do thank Kai for putting up with it.
A couple nights ago, I finally broke down and told the plain truth; I am sick of anything and everything sexual being directed at him. Nyan, I know it's true that that makes up a good portion of conversation at uni. And I understand that. But still, oi! I can't help but to feel awkward and thoroughly upset whenever I hear or see it.
I try to be good. I don't want to end up as the horror story of a girlfriend everyone hates. The over-protective, overly-jealous and generally bitchy girlfriend that attempts to force everything from her happy bubble of a relationship. I purposely try to keep things to myself to avoid being like that. But then, that is what ended up killing me. Along with family issues, and basically being on the run, these feelings shredded my spirit at the end of last year, and fragments are still caught up in me.
It sucks.
But now that I've been honest, now that I've confessed this to Kai, now that I'm BLOGGING about it (which I may regret later), I think the shredded and darkened parts of me will start to go away. Only happiness for the future. And that makes the whole world seem brighter.
Screnzy.
Script Frenzy is only days from being over. If today is the 21st, all Script Frenzy participants have 9 days to be at 100 pages. How many pages should everyone have right now? Around 67 pages.
GUESS WHAT.
Blue is so behind, writing in at 23 pages.
Sure, it won't be easy to catch up. But still, I swear I shall win this one! It's a really great experience, to write a script. Being part in a challenge is fun, too. So, here is my challenge for the rest of the month: Writing around 9 pages per day. Face. Keyboard.
But I promised! I promised I'd finish! Actually accomplishing this.. would mean I'm no longer a failure at everything. Isn't that what everyone else is doing? Struggling (or working smartly) to prove they can finish something like this? In a month? It's pretty amazing.
By the by, my screenplay has evolved from Tunnels into Mindfuck. Yeah. Excuse the non-French.
Psychological Thriller? Whaa? YES.
Mental Issues.
What can I say? Symptoms of ADHD, depression, OCD, and various other things all mashed up in one head can be fun. But it is also.. weird.
And that is that!
School.
Less than a month now to finish my semester of Chemistry and last unit of English. Pressure? Yes. Stress? Yes. Have I tackled things like this before? Yes. Will I finish on time to graduate with the rest of the class (yes, the class I don't know at all whatsoever)? I'd better.
I am really looking forward to summer. Especially because a happy summer means that I've finished Chemistry and I won't need it again (I hope--even if it does come up, I hope not for a WHILE).
Also, I got an email from Ms. Lytle herself, congratulating me and such for my academic success and rewards and things of the like. That is really special. Crazy.
My Dad.
I have no idea why I feel the need to mention this.
Today, my phone went wonky and it said I had received a failed message from my dad, only, I was out of it, and I exited that screen. Bye bye, message. Later, I asked him to resend it, but he said he hadn't sent anything.
Wonderful.
So we were talking. This hasn't happened in.. how long, now? It has to have been at least a month. We talked a bit about what we are both currently doing, then a little bit about college. And then out of nowhere, he says he has to go to call back my brother. Okay then.
Is it true I'm having abandonment issues? Perhaps. I try not to think of it. There are already too many issues.
Lastly, Dick Clark.
Because who doesn't love Dick Clark?
He was adorable today. He looked all stoic (and not Matt's "stoic") while he was sitting on the bench on the porch, watching the storm come in.
Last.. er, last last night, I discovered Dick Clark enjoys playing with my old earphones. Only, not if Marilyn Manson or Lady GaGa is playing through them. He folds his ears all the way back. So far back.. I didn't even know cats' ears could go that far back.
Poor Dick Clark. He and his literal 'Fraidy Cat sister, Duchess, are getting old. They're around 12 years old right now! Looong life for two outside cats.
Dick Clark has some issues getting up. It's like he uses the momentum of bouncing several times back and forth to fling and twist himself up. It's quite sad, but rather cute at the same time.
He is as purry and drooly as usual. He enjoys talking, yawning, being pet (petted?) and long walks on the beach. Or, marina. Shh. He is quite the stud, Dick Clark. Very.. orangey. Very adorable.
Oi, so that was a huge load of possibly-depressing news. Sorry about that. Hopefully, soon, the blog will start to get brighter. Especially after I graduate (woo!), when I won't have Chemistry nagging me. Hehe.
Also, someone in me is extremely spiteful. Which means the fun is about to begin.
Love and other indoor sports (like poodle-shaving),
Blue Disastrous
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