Sunday, February 28, 2010

::Alligators and Epic Misspellings::

So I signed up for a mentor on Virtual Hogwarts, which, in my head, isn't so virtual anymore. It is more or less becoming my whole life. And I'm okay with that. My fake-life, which is Lilith's and not mine, is far more fun and far less complicated. Plus, I suspect she will be getting straight O's this term.
I am finding that my emotions are all completely and unnecessarily jumbled. When I should be angry, I'm disappointed. When I should be serene, I am super--no--über--no--HYPER-random and over-the-top crazy. When I should be sad, I am numb. When I should be sympathetic, I am greedily happy. When I should be happy for someone else, I'm either sad or jealous, or some cheap combination of the two. And all of these can happen in the course of a five-minute conversation, or a walk down the hall and out the door.
And the really sad part is, there are probably a lot of weddings ruined by flamingos.
I am also becoming more and more easily distracted. For example, every day I set out to do schoolwork, and end up on random scientific pages or on videos of people adapting songs into their preferred instruments. Or, like now, the random urge to Google "Parkour" for no reason.
It's really very interesting, actually.
Imagine getting attacked and running away off the wall next to you to get around the attacker. And then the look of "HUH?" on his face as you vault or jump or roll away.
Or maybe not that dramatic.
Above all, we must remember that anything is possible. Do with that what you will.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

What?! All these people in the cars we pass are.. Asian?!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

::Oi::

Very very very emotional day.. But now things are on the right track, and I'm so relieved..
I didn't do much today, other than my entry for DeviantArt's latest contest.
That thing took three days.. Carpal tunnel, much? Surprisingly, no. But it's almost there..

Hm, as a last note..
I reallyreallyreally love heartfelt messages.

Love and other indoor sports (like osmosis),
Blue Disastrous

::Two Words::

Carpal. Tunnel.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

::Too Much Contrast..::

Worked on a DeviantArt contest entry.
And.. that was it.

Monday, February 22, 2010

::Peacocks::

I am finding myself more and more annoyed and hate-filled, like I was last time. Also like last time, I am not saying anything. So that's not helping.
Anyway, today was school. Only Takada was sick and we had a sub who knew nothing at all about Japanese, so we basically played around and it was really weird and review-ish. This is after Lytle came out and sternly talked to me for the first time, because L said we could leave after signing in. Nothing was going right.
So, after the strange non-Japanese Japanese class, Mum and I went back into Tracy to kill some time.. then went back to school for my music class.
Today it was actually interesting, and I was very pleased. Though, Courtright tried taking my hat a few times, which is not very nice when you don't want all these amazing musicians seeing your disgusting flat hair.
Alexis and I decided not to work on our normal guitar and bass, instead sitting at the keyboard and trying to trip up our fingers doing scales in a particular way. And then there was the listening to hardcore Japanese metal that was amazing while Courtright wasn't looking. We (Alexis and I) talked the whole time about random Japanese things, from manga to fashion to capsule hotels to dancing squid. It was all rather fun.
Then it was time to go to BN, where I began emailing my aunt about quilting and got help and such. And then, out of nowhere, Zak popped up. So we spent about, hm, an hour writing a basic script and going over different scenarios for said script. We ended up with a twisted short scene where a rabid rabbit--well, I won't get that far. We ARE going to film it, after all.
After that, it was all fun again with the walking and the ranting and the walking and the Sour Patch Kids and the walking and the kitties and the walking.. Did I mention the walking? I swear, by the time we reached Costco we had to have at least walked like five miles. Which is a lot for the both of us.
Aaand then he had to randomly leave again. And then I left.
And here I am, feeling annoyed and not satisfied, yet again.
I am now caught between wanting time to speed up and wanting to just sleep forever and never live a real life again. I feel worthless. Again.
So that's all I have to say about that.
Now, back to figuring out how to do this.. paper.. piecing.. thingy. Either that, or start writing some of the script as a rough draft/proposal. Just have to keep my mind busy is all..

Love and other indoor sports (I've got nothing tonight),
Blue Disastrous

Sunday, February 21, 2010

::Where Am I?::

I swear, it feels like my head's full of Jello. Which I have in the fridge. Shoot! I forgot to get some grape Jello earlier. Oh well..
So, my favourite punctuation..ness.. is: ‽, the interrobang. Pretty spiffy, eh? Kai and I believe this should be, erm, allowed in normal English punctuation, because it is awesome and most often used in at least spoken English, so why not written as well? かよ‽
Today was as uneventful as yesterday (though I don't think I blogged yesterday, did I?), with the best part of the day being my dinner/dessert/snack combo. Chikkin doodle soup, a few stolen bites of chili, a sundae, and dinosaurs. No joke.
Now, I really hope tomorrow--WAIT!! Hm, okay, no Astronomy lesson up yet. Tomorrow is Monday, which is also Japanese and Music classes, the day I pick up my English assignment, the day Lilith has another Astronomy lesson, the day I hang out with Zak again (I must charge my camera!), aaand Cat Day! That's right, in Japan, tomorrow is Cat Day. Nyan, nyan! Treat your kitties like royalty!
Oh, I so wish time would speed up. Just for now, because I'm just too excited and I gotta get back to Hogwarts--no, that's not right (but I wish it was). But I want to go be with Kai already.
I've made another list. I'll post it on Zoho soon, if anyone is still following that.
Aaand.. erm.. I am still waiting for a few important emails.. And.. I suppose that is it.

Love and other indoor sports (like swimming, without the water),
Blue Disastrous

Friday, February 19, 2010

::Two Weeks::

It's been two weeks since I've cried. I'm pathetic. And again, I'm unsure of how to survive.
There must be some horrible flaw in my character, because now absolutely no one will talk to me. And all I've been wondering, for hours, is what Ive done wrong. I've been happy. I haven't been negative, for the most part, in two weeks, and still I'm alone.
Maybe it would be best if I stay away from everyone; that way, I won't be hurt.

::But Then..::

I am once again growing weary and angry at those around me who are not hearing the simplicity in the words I speak, and who are assuming those that lie in my mind. I am without audience and without clarity.
Misunderstand not the shades of my leaves, and presume not the internal workings of a clock are not as they appear.

Can you tell I have been reading Hamlet a little?

-BD

::Updated Class List::

..can be found here.

These are Lilith Tempest's classes, not mine. I so wish.

LOIS,
BD

Thursday, February 18, 2010

::Distracted Again::

I set out to do tons of English today.. and then got distracted by various science articles. Ouch.
Anyway, not much happened today, like, at all. I did Lilith's Flying lesson, stressed about a couple of things in real life, and.. sat here on the couch.
The payment still didn't go through, so I still can't apply for housing (and I'm still waiting for Kai to tell me what is on the application like he said he would when he got back to his dorm like two days ago) and I wonder when it WILL go through.. I really hope that the only hold-up is that the check needs to be cleared, and that tomorrow, I will get my email and all will be well..
It's another day closer to the reception, and another day closer to August. Also, another day closer to my birthday, which I haven't been really looking forward to, but now I'm thinking of it in a whole new way. Being sixteen isn't as sweet as everyone makes it out to be; but hopefully my seventeenth year will be exceedingly amazing and it will make up for all of the bad times.
That is all I have to say about that.

Love and other indoor sports (is sleeping an Olympic event?),
Blue Disastrous

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

::NO DINNAH FO YOU::

Okay, so that last post was overdramatic. But really, there are too many things going on.
All I want is for my first fee to get cleared so I can start my housing application, an email telling me what to do about Careers, for my Cal Grants GPA form gets sent safely, to pass Chemistry, and to force time to go faster. But the only way to do that (well, the last one) is to sleep the time away, though I'd be messing up my future. Because the second-to-last goal would not even have a chance to become real.
TOO MANY POKEMANS CARDS!!
I found them. There are tons. I want to make a list, but now.. I must sleep.

Love and other indoor sports (like boot-stomping),
Blue Disastrous

::Issues::

Too much. Too much stress. Too many things to do.
Whatever.

LOIS,
BD

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

::Almost Wednesday!::

Sadly, I am looking forward to waking up at five in the morning to go to school. Also, I/Lilith have/has Potions class tomorrow. More Hufflepuff House Points!
Things here at home are not the greatest. Still in the thick of a family crisis. I hope we have some good news coming for us.
Hm, now for some random.. stuff..



Okay.. Now that that is over with..
Soon I will begin a new Zoho notebook for my ideas on my mini-series. I finally have a plot! And a story, too. Which is nice. Now I must start writing.. but how much shall I share on my blog?
I just went searching for a random wordcount widget, but then I realised I don't have a set wordcount in mind. So I suppose I'll work on that.
So.. I'll.. start doing something else now..

Love and other indoor sports (like otter ear-cutting),
Blue Disastrous

::Newsflash::

And it's not sarcastic!

Aside from the storyline that'll be written in April for Screnzy, I am going to be writing a script for a mini-series. But I need help!
I hope to film this mini-series, so help in any sense will really.. help. Pretend that last sentence wasn't as lame.
Help in writing, plotting, casting, acting, filming, even designing the settings or costumes will really move along the process, as well as add a lot of fun!
Any readers (which is, what, five people?), if you're interested, you know how to contact me. Or comment! It is right down there, right below this entry.
Come on, you know you want to!

LOIS,
BD

Monday, February 15, 2010

::Penta::

Nothing really exciting happened today.
I cut out some stuff for hats that need to be done by Wednesday.
Watched America's Next Top Model for a few hours.
Went to take my failed Chemistry test again--changed that 55 to a 95.
First day of class on Virtual Hogwarts--did the Astronomy homework.
Facebook.. Chatted with an ex about how we never really were a couple.
Um.. That's about it.
I really want 13 March to be here. And I want my payment to be cleared so I have the option of looking into housing.. Though I still need to make that payment too. No idea what I'm going to do to get that money.
I think I'll go watch another few episodes each of Little White Lie and Nana.

LOIS,
Blue Disastrous

Sunday, February 14, 2010

::Nothing Day::

Today was not a day of love, as it should have been. All I have been thinking all day is that I wish I could go on auto-pilot until summer or August, whichever will be happiest.
I failed my Chemistry test.
Cam is leaving Via Coma.
I hope I have hit rock bottom again. I don't think I can handle any more bad news.

LOIS,
Blue Disastrous

Saturday, February 13, 2010

::This Is How::

..you make bacon. Long overdue.

Enjoy.

Love and other indoor sports (such as making bacon),
Blue Disastrous

::DALMATIANS::

101, get it? Bahh, bad joke. Pichi-pichi piichi. Another bad joke.
So today.. I have.. Chemistry. And I really have to this time. Not just staying on Facebook, lurking like a.. thing that lurks. But I actually have the chat popped out. Take that!
This morning has gone like this:
Wake up. Kitty is laying on my butt. I turn around, he falls off, then climbs onto my tummy. Push kitty off, go to the living room. Discover I cannot sit on the couch as Uncle Larry and Mum are looking for random vegetarian soup recipes online. Sit on the floor. Get cold. Go to room, get sock and Cam's jacket. Go to kitchen. Mum comes in and starts making me pancakes (which were DELICIOUS) and cinnamon sugar for said pancakes. Eat. Grab laptop. Remember to grab glasses for the first time. Go back to living room and sit on the end of the couch (as Uncle Larry is making one of the soups he found online, which is a Thai soup, which has tons of ginger in it, so the house is being über-perfumed with it), open laptop, go to Blogger, start writing, Richard IM's, I write this some more..
Yeah. I so just put a simple morning into tons of words. So ha. I'm preparing for VH, because Sorting is TOMORROW, and Lilith must be in Hufflepuff. Or else.
The air purifier is loud. And Grandma still thinks I'm three. Or not even three. Two. And a half.

Love and other indoor sports (like discovering random cuts on your thumb),
Blue Disastrous

::Post One Hundred!::

Yay! I don't really have much to report, sadly.
Well, except on Facebook (which I once swore I hate but now I always lurk for no good reason) I have found a new friend in an old acquaintance. So that is very good.
Also, I must go retrieve a poison banana for Saro-chan, because he apparently needs to die right now more than usual.
So, I guess that the 25th is Roommate Meet and Greet Night, but no one seems to know if it is just for current residents or ones starting in the fall as well. More investigation shall have to be done on that.
Earlier, Mum and Uncle Larry ran off to the store earlier and brought home two peach yogurts, which are supposed to be for Uncle Larry, but we shall see.. It may be a fight to the death between us. I had to hide eating a peach yogurt that was already in the fridge and no one knew about. Really, it was that sad.
I have nothing else to say really. The only thing I can think about now is how I'm ever going to get enough to pay my housing security deposit so I can actually live somewhere in the fall. Blah. Starving artist, only I'm not selling my art just yet. Well, shat.
I'll do it! I still have like.. a month.. Yeah! Buu, enough whining!
I WILL be there.
I WILL find a way.
I WILL have my cave!
And I WILL.. er.. steal Kai's oven to bake things in!
..And YOU get a humpback whale, and YOU get a humpback whale, and YOU..

Love and other indoor sports (like partying over a hundredth post),
Blue Disastrous

Friday, February 12, 2010

::How "Ironic"::

Or, what people say is ironic but is really just.. sad.
"I need to go, I need to get out of here. I feel like I'm going crazy."
That line, most often said by me (literally at least five times a day, in my head or otherwise), was just spoken by my mum. And I wanted to yell out, "WELCOME TO MY LIFE."
Things are just plain crazy over here. It's just.. too much.
I have about six months left. Maybe less, if somehow, I dunno, Kai and I can go on a random summer camping adventure, or something--which is hardly likely. But still! So close to sanity..
So, today I'm supposed to be doing Chemistry, or English, or sewing, but I am feeling quite lazy again.
Oh! I realised that I kinda dropped my To-Do Lists, but I have an even better alternative. Zoho! So, if anyone is interested (who knows, are you nuts?) you can go hither to see what I need to do and which dates are important and for what.. I like having something so readily available to keep me on track.
Oh my dog! My next post (after this one, that is) will be number one hundred! Wewt! It sure did take a while, but I'm there. That's kinda cool. I hope the next hundred entries will be happier, and not so dramatic, and maybe some interesting things will happen so this is less an emo diary and more like a, "Hey! Look! Coolness!"
That is all.

Love and other indoor sports (like.. I've got nothing),
Blue Disastrous

::Oh, and--::

Rereading my posts from earliest on, I must say: I am extremely over-dramatic and childish and all of the like, but I don't really care.

LOIS,
BD

::Ooh the Fuzziness::

The title is a reference to the fact that I keep forgetting I have glasses now. And I can actually see. It is quite nice.
Anyway, today was.. It was boring, really. I felt like crap the whole day.
I discovered Armadillo shoes, and I want a pair.
Also, I have made a long list of things to do and important dates. So that was productive.
I still have not done Chemistry, or English for that matter.
I am hoping I can get a lot of financial aid for college, because that is really where I want to be right now.
Also, I need to somehow obtain 350$, and very soon.
Buu.
I'm trying, Kai.

Love and other indoor sports (like trying to walk in said Armadillo shoes),
Blue Disastrous

Thursday, February 11, 2010

::Banananananana::

I have not blogged in a while..
Yesterday was my first day back home, er, sorta. I had Japanese class--though Mum wanted to sleep more so I had to miss it. Anyway, I went to my PLP meeting and Niemi and I basically laughed at the joke of school. And then Smith, who was supposedly missing, popped in to give me my Cal Grants GPA form, which I filled out right away and went to take it to Clark, except on the way, I ran into a distraction.
Two distractions.
Alexis and Miyu came from out of nowhere and somehow we started talking of hats (I have another order, wewt! Want one?) and Pokemon (this was when Miyu discovered I had Pokemon Crystal in my bag, and asked in choppish English if she could play--which she did, and she got me two Pokemon as well) and sewing class (which Alexis insisted I'd love) and Nana (which Alexis would not stop talking about).
Nearly half an hour later, I had to sort of rudely cut poor Alexis off because I still hadn't dropped off my form. And then I left. Which was awkward.
So then I went with Mum to the mall, where we ate as we read tons of stuff about pH balancing, which is a pretty good thing if you ask me. Except then we realised we were going to be late to pick up my glasses. They're pretty cool, though it's kinda awkward that they're JLo glasses.
A few hours later, we were home, and I suddenly was inspired to look for my ever-missing Pokemon cards. I looked in all my old board games--even Pokemon Sorry, which was sorry I could not find my cards there. I looked in the stuck bottom dresser drawer. I looked under the nightstand. I even looked under the couch--which is where I found the adapter for my keyboard that has been missing for two and a half years, which made me forget my cards to go play piano for hours.
Later yet I got extremely sick and just.. crashed.
And this morning until now (still happening, however), I've been as sick. Blargh. I really want to play piano again, or waste time looking at cards, but I must do one of two things. Either I can sew all of my hat orders, or I can work on Chemistry.
I think I will drag out the keyboard now.

Love and other indoor sports (like binder-vanishing),
Blue Disastrous

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Just staaanding in the lobby. As the cleaning guy is spraying every possible surface to sit on. Buu.

::Short Vacation::

Since Friday evening I have been with Kai. What else can I even say? That is perfection right there. Yeah, I've given up on having our own place any sooner than forever, but I'll live. We'll live. Hell, I'll even look into a single room. Hah!
As long as it comes with a cave.
Anygay, Kai has reminded me I've done nothing school-related this half-week, though not really because he is just working like a busy little bee at his presentation. He has to wear silly pants. They appear to be shiny, but do they FEEL shiny? No. I've spoken to them. They feel used.
Speaking of used pants, I must go sew the hole in these.

All right then. No more hole--though it is now a very crude line.
I be sick! As a.. sick thing! Grr. Maybe some fresh air? Like, now. Please.
I think today I'll venture out of the room, too. At least I won't be trapped. WAIT. If I go out, I can't get back in. Shat.
What to do?!

Love and other indoor sports (like cave incidents, cave crawling, and cave rolling),
Blue Disastrous

Thursday, February 4, 2010

::I Shot Him::

Because he's an undercover cop--but he's my son! Oh no! I feel bad! I wouldn't have done it if I had known!

Soap opera mob boss for you..

Today I am feeling better. I am just holding onto the hope that I can spend the weekend with Kai. I really wish he would be okay. Can't he ever get a break? He doesn't deserve it..
Gah. I will bring brownies..

::It Will All Be Okay::

It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.
It will all be okay.

It has to be.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

::::

I'm sorry that I can't be stronger. That I keep falling apart. It doesn't help anyone. I don't want to make it harder than it has to be.
But six times of what I've already been through this time? Please, kill me now.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

::She Lingers::

Not feeling the greatest. The only thing that has been pulling me through this past year is now.. nonexistent. I can't see a point. To anything. Not going anywhere. Not talking. Not even eating. I don't even know why I bothered with this.

Monday, February 1, 2010

::Bubble Bath::

Today went something like this::
5:30am:: Wake up, shower.
5:45am:: Webcam with Kai-koi. Tired Kai-koi is still sexy. Even more so, as I pretend I am the only one to see him in this state. Anyway--get dressed.
6:30am:: Still changing. Can't decide what to wear. Kai-koi is still sexy.
7:00am:: Squeek when I realise I will be late. Sadly say goodbye to Kai-koi. Depart.
8:00am:: Japanese class. Disaster and hilarity ensue.
9:30am:: Crumple into the car.
9:33am:: Receive horrid news. Stress. Falls asleep.
10:50am:: Wake up again. Super pain. Stresses about class.
10:59am:: Decide not to go to class.
11:00am:: Leave school. Mum runs errands. I stay in the car. Texting.
1:00pm:: Return to school. Meet with Mollon. Become embarrassed as all Chemistry knowledge was gone.
2:15pm:: Crumple into the car again.
2:30pm:: Arrive at Banta Elementary School. Hrkk.
2:35pm:: Say hi to Mr. Zopfi, led in by Dustin and Dakota.
2:38pm:: Get discovered by Mrs. Cook. Shat. Get kicked out.
2:39pm:: Say hi to Mrs. Pombo on our way out.
2:40pm:: Leave to go to mall. Go to World Market instead.
2:50pm:: See Jon.

3:00pm:: Wander.
3:30pm:: Meet with Zak. Disaster and hilarity ensues. Including smoothies, duck walks, and many stalker-ish videos that could come back to haunt me.
6:15pm:: Parting. Head toward home.
7:20pm:: Quick run to Safeway.
7:55pm:: Get home. Sits on butt texting and laptop..ing..
10:45pm:: Blog.

Tah dah. It was terribly fun. But I miss Kai so so so much. I can't wait for summer. I really can't.

Also, through the hrkking peach tea causes, I have decided I shall get a kitty that looks like a "Momo". And name her Momo.

Love and other indoor sports (pills?!),
Blue Disastrous

::Up Early..::

It sucks, but hey, I like school. So I'm okay.
EPT/ELM scores are up now.
EPT: 159 total score, 4 essay score.
Okay, so not my greatest. I still well passed.
ELM: 72 total score.
That one is better.
So hey, I'm not a dummy after all. And the word "dummy" in itself is dumb anyway because it is.. freakish.
Er.. Yeah.
Kai said he'd wake up to webcam with me while I get ready, but alas, he is not up. I thought not. Who'd want to wake up at 5:30am for not much anyway? Tehe.
Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.
I must go now, before all my time is up. Time to get ready, that is. Sheesh. I am rather inarticulate. Maybe this is why my EPT wasn't so great. Whoops.

Love and other indoor sports (like professional Urban Decay mekkup application),
Blue Disastrous

BTB:: Anything I spell wrong is on purpose. For the most part. If not, I go and edit immediately after I notice. So ha.